The Darkness Within

[BloodCroc499]

Warning:Teen Content for strong language,intense violence,blood and gore.This is gonna be a sprite video soon on Youtube and Myspace.

STARRING
SONIC THE HEDGEHOG/DARK SUPER SONIC

AMY ROSE/HYPER AMY ROSE

SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG/SUPER SHADOW

KNUCKLES THE ECHIDNA/HYPER KNUCKLES

MILES "TAILS" PROWER/SUPER TAILS

ROUGE THE BAT

E-123 OMEGA

DR. EGGMAN

DR. EGGMAN NEGA

CREAM THE RABBIT

BIG THE CAT

BLAZE THE CAT/BURNING BLAZE

SONIA THE HEDGEHOG

MANIC THE HEDGEHOG

BLACK DOOM/DEVIL DOOM

MEPHILES THE DARK

ESPIO THE CHAMELEON

VECTOR THE CROCODILE

CHARMY BEE

TIKAL THE ECHIDNA

SILVER THE HEDGEHOG/SUPER SILVER

METAL SONIC/METAL SONIC NEO/METAL MADNESS

JET THE HAWK

WAVE THE SWALLOW

STORM THE ALBATROSS

MARINE THE RACCOON

CHAOS 0/PERFECT CHAOS

MIGHTY THE ARMADILLO

BEAN THE DYNAMITE

AND BARK THE POLARBEAR


CHAPTER 1:THE SUNSET AND THE STARS IN THE NIGHT SKY

Everything was peaceful.Eggman hasn't tried to take over the world eversince.As usual,Sonic was sitting at a hill overlooking the sunset.
Sonic was pretty lonely.Amy Rose suddenly walks up to him."Hey,Sonic."
Amy Rose says to him."Hey,Amy.Enjoying yourself?"Sonic asks her."Yeah.
Good thing the world's not in peril anymore."Amy says."Yup.Life is good."
Sonic inhales and exhales."The sunset sure is beautiful today."Amy Rose
was really peaceful."Like you--i mean,yeah!Beautiful sunset."Sonic was blushing really hard.Sonic could smell her perfume.He had butterflies in his stomache.Sonic couldn't stop staring at her emerald green eyes and her shiny pink hair."Well,i should go.See ya tomorrow,Sonic."Amy leaves Sonic
to himself.Sonic had tears in his eyes."Bye....Amy."Sonic lies down on the ground.

Later that night.

Sonic was looking at the night sky.The stars were sparkling bright.Then,the stars made the shape of Amy.Sonic sighs.Sonic walked to his house,ate a snack and went to bed.2 hours later,Sonic was having a nightmare.Sonic
wakes up all sweaty and was breathing in fear.He holds on to his heart.
"I've been having nightmares for months.I need help."Sonic was really scared.He went back to sleep.Hopefully he doesn't get another nightmare.

The Next Chapter will be longer.Hopefully you guys like this one than the Predator thread.And did i mention i'm not gonna write predator?So forget i ever put up the Predator thread.I have no idea if i'm ever gonna fit in,but i'll try.But,Day,stay the hell out of this fanfic!Especially you,Biohazard!

[Day]

You keep switching between past and present tense. Stick to one. You're also not psacing after each period. Do that, it looks nasty.

Also, longer chapters. That took less than a minute to skim through.

Oh, and stop writing shit, really.

[BloodCroc499]

Damn it,Day!I thought i told you to stay out this fanfic!You annoy the hell out of me!*EVERYTHING ENDS BY SLIPKNOT PLAYS*Now get outta here before i get psycho!I did promise i'll make Chapter 2 longer.So i'll make it longer.The only reason i haven't wrote anything in a while was because i was in Michigan.Now,i must go kill somebody i hate.*kills the racist girl,Beth.*Ok,i'm done.I'm gone.I got a headache,so i'll just take a break.

[BloodCroc499]

Come on,people!I don't wanna start a fight in another fanfic.Can we just get along?That's what forums were made for.I can't take it anymore.What do you guys say?Can we all get along?No more fights(if someone says stupid shit).And no more criticism(unless it's something else stupid).

[Day]

Then stop posting fucking action commands about what you're doing like anyone's supposed to be giving a shit, and write.

And I told you, spaces. After every full stop. Jesus.

[Sparky]

Bloodcroc, if you're going to write a fanfic and you want it to be fightless, then don't wait to post it.
There is really no reason to get aggrivated at someone who is trying to merely give advice to you.
Also, the edit button is there for a reason. Don't double post.

Day, please use constructive criticism. Telling him that he writes shit is just going to start a fight, no matter how true it is.

[Day]

Funny, I thought advising someone to stick to one tense when writing and to use spaces and such was constructive.

[Sparky]

Yeah, sorry, I meant that telling someone that they are writing shit isn't exactly constructive. :/

The rest of what you said was constructive, of course.

[Biohazard]

wow kid, could you WHINE anymore? No one cares how "psycho" you act; quit bitching at everyone who so much as looks at your freaking topic.

Seriously, longer, more well thought out chapter and propers formatting please. No one's gonna even try to read your story when they can barely make it past the first couple sentences.

[BloodCroc499]

FUCK THIS SITE,MAN! EVERSINCE I CAME HERE,EVERYONE'S BEEN NOTHING BUT A FUCKIN DICK! SO,I QUIT THIS FUCKED UP SHITHOLE YOU CALL A WEBSITE! FUCK! FOUND A LOT BETTER PLACE TO WRITE "THE DARKNESS WITHIN"! SO GOODBYE,FUCKERS!*flips you all off*

[BloodCroc499]

One more thing,you can kiss my ass!

[Kursed]

*locked*